Traditions

This Thanksgiving was all about tradtions, mostly new ones. I am big into traditions and didn't really realize how big utnil my traditions started to change.Sure, I have missed a thanksgiving or two with my family due to my job in the past or had to leave early to get back to work but this year seemed different somehow. I really have two families, my mom and step-dad and my dad and step-mom adn we do things with each family accordingly. Usually we have a thanksgiving lunch with my mom and that side and then at night we go to my dad's family where we eat, watch football and play texas hold 'em late into the night with all my cousins. Even though I have graduated to the "adult table" and in fact the majority of my cousin's have graduated to the "Adult table " to eat, I still try to bail out of helping with the dishes, claiming my youth. However, this year was spent yelling into my speakerphone to tell everyone hello and being passed around to each family member to tell them Happy Thanksgiving and that I wish I could be there.

This Thanksgiving I was on-call for work, which meant i had to stick around in case anything happened with one of the kids, someone called into work, or any other major/minor crisis. So my amazingly wonderful boyfriend offered to come up and spend Christmas with so i wouldn't be alone. I was psyched to get to cook my first REAL Thanksgiving meal. I had a turkey, homemade mac and cheese, homemade rolls, pies, mashed potatoes and wine. The trouble began when Dan wanted to put carrots and celery in my stuffing AND underneath the turkey to create a psuedo rack. For some reason, i was VERY off put by that and did NOT want to do it and muttered several times, "this isn't how my family does it". I even had rageful thoughts of "i can't continue dating this guy, let alone marry him at some point if he thinks carrots and celery go UNDER A TURKEY!" little irrational, i know. But later that night when we were discussing it and i was pouting, i realized how much tradtions mean to me. i also realized that if i ever plan to get married, i need to learn to suck it up and incorporate new traditions. Dan tried to comfort me by making it sound all exciting and fun, to incorporate new tradtions. It doesn't sound very fun to me, but i guess time will tell.

So here are a couple other traditions new and old from this week:
1. As you can see from the pic above, my step-brother's football team won the Class 6A championship in St louis last night. They beat out CBC(Christian Brothers) in st louis. and by beat, i mean killed. 41-7. This is the first state championship in football in the history the school. So here's to them and the start of a tradition of being a powerhouse from Kansas City.
2. Dan put Christmas lights out on my house this weekend! they are beautiful! i will try to post pics at another time. Yea for traditional house decorating!
3.Yea for good friends and family to talk to on Thanksgiving.
4. And here's a hopeful tradition, tha we can have the 70 degree weather EVERY year on Thanksgiving!!

Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! Now, the season has come to be jolly! Bring on Christmas time!!!

Reflections on Work

This week at work has been a stressful one(i know, it's only Tuesday). In fact, work has been emotionally wearing on me a lot lately. I have been "taking work home" so to speak and thinking about kids and situations way past work hours. Particularly, I have been mulling over one of my kids. She is 14, 5 months pregnant and the father is way too old to be even hanging around 14 year olds. She came to us because her mom essentially wanted nothing to do with her(not just because of the pregnancy, i'm sure drugs had a factor) and her step-dad also did not want her back. I can't imagine what it would be like to be 14 and no one want you, not to mention being pregnant and alone. I just felt sad for her. I felt she just wanted someone to care. I mean, when a kid WANTS to stay at our facilty, you know they've had it rough. I feel like we went through a lot with her. I took her to all of her doctor's appointments, to a pregnancy center where she could receive help when the baby came and education before the baby came, and even got to go with her to experience her ultrasound. The experience was exhilirating for both of us. I was excited because I had never seen a real life ultrasound before, i mean with a baby inside and she was excited to see her baby and find out what she was having. I can't really explain the feelings go through me at that time when we were both looking at the machine, seeing this little life move around inside of her. It was a mixed feeling of awe, excitement, sadness, worry, joy. She left this week for a foster home. It made me really sad. I got her a baby name book to help her decide on a name for the baby boy.I hope that she is ok.
We also had another resident this week who was defiant, non-compliant, and barricaded herself in a bathroom. She had a lot of mental health problems but mostly was just acting like a brat. That is why i worked 10-11 hours yesterday. She is gone now too.
Sometimes i think i need a break from this field, from the abused kids, crappy parents, and out of control behaviors. Sometimes I think that the pain these kids have experienced in their lifetime is more than anyone should ever have to experience. Sometimes I have to ask myself if I'm really making a difference. Sometimes I just want to quit and push papers for a living.
But another part of me knows I can't. At least not now. I am drawn to these kids. I can't even begin to imagine what their life has been like, the pain they have endured but I do know how much better of a life they are capable of having. I do know if they don't have someone to show them the way, they will just keep repeating the mistakes of their fathers. I do know that I love these kids and want the very best for them, like they were my own.

Election 2006 (and other random tidbits)

Seriously, i have NEVER been so glad for an election day to finally be here. This election season has been awful! i can't turn my radio on without hearing a negative ad about one of the candidates and then when i switch to another station, I hear an ad about how the ad i JUST heard is untrue.My favorite ads however must be the ones where they talk about how awful and unjust and inhumane it is to say such horrible things about an opponent and how you wouldn't want that kind of person in office, but then the next ad is that very same candidate doing the exact same thing!!! I mean, really??!! So, in the spirit of election day and for the joy of it being nearly over, here are some things I have learned throughout this election.
1. All the Candidates are liars. Every last one of them.
2. I wish i could vote for the best candidate, not the less of the two evils.
3. My voting precinct changed since I moved. I discovered that this morning after I drove across town to vote and my name wasn't on their list.
4. My voting precinct is actually right down the street from my house.
5. Does anyone else think it's weird to "fill in the arrow" to make your vote?
6. Does anyone else have to do that or is it just a Kirksville thing?
7. There is a very thin line between Dems and Republican's character traits. (see #1).
8. Our country is going to pot.
9. I have a secret about my votes today but I cannot make it public knowledge.
10. Does it make anyone else a little edgy that they give you a number when you vote, place it on a sticker next to your name in their little book, it's on your voters card, and then when you stick it into the electronic machine at the end, your number comes up on the screen? Does anonymity mean anything to anyone these days? It seriously made me consider some of my votes.
On Another Note: Anyone watch the CMA awards last night? Just a few things to say about that.
1. Could Brooks and Dunn win any more awards?! they won a TON last night!
2. Kenny Chesney's perfomance was terrible. I also do not understand how any woman in her right mind could think he is good looking.
3. Carrie Underwood won the Verizon(or Horizon, i was never sure) award for best new artist AND won Female Vocalist of the year...is that weird to anyone else except for me? I love Carrie Underwood and pegged her to win American Idol during her try out but come on! she was up against country great's like Faith Hill, Martina McBride, and Sara Evans.
4. I'm glad George Stait was inducted to the Hall of Fame. He is great!
5. I absolutely love Vince Gill's voice although don't like him since he had an affair with Amy Grant, who was singing with him last night.
Alright, I think that just about covers it for the day!