How do you. . .?

How do you tell a child that her father no longer wants her?
How do you explain to this child that after all the hard work she has put in, he has decided that she's not worth it?
How do talk to a father who tells you that "he's done" with his child and wants nothing more to do with her?
How do you hold back tears when the girl starts to cry?
How do you remain professional when talking about her piece of crap dad and not call him every name in the book?
How do you give this girl answers when you don't have any?
How do you explain to the girl that her father has said that "she'll get over it, or she won't"?
How do you explain this to a girl who has had a relationship with her father for over 13 years, despite being in numerous foster homes?
How do you break it gently that she was right in the beginning, that he would give up, and we were all wrong to try to reunite them again?
How do you look this girl that you have come to care about like one of your own and tell her that she has to spend the next 5 years of her life in foster care?
How can you promise that you will fight for the best foster home possible when you really know it's out of your control?
How do you handle it when the girl tells you that the residential facility she has been living in for the last 6 months is more like a family to her?
How can you even begin to imagine the pain that she is going through, knowing that her father doesn't love her enough to try and make things work?

These are all the questions running through my head tonight after telling a little girl that her dad no longer wants her. I know she will have a better life, but it is still one of the hardest things I have had to ever do in my job.

Hawaii-a synopsis

We have returned from Hawaii after a very scary flight home. So I decided to summarize our trip in one of my favorite ways. . . a list.


4-number of different wildlife animals we saw in the wild. . .whales, sharks, turtles, and seals
1-movie star that was seen at Waikiki Beach (Cameron Diaz for all who are wondering)
50-minute beach massage that Katie and I received. We were like movie stars!
8 -days we were there
2-days we went surfing
3 -nights spent grilling out on Katie's "lanai" or patio for mainland residents
many-table topic discussions that were had, thanks to Katie's birthday present to me
0-marriage proposals for anyone
45-minutes it took for us to recover from sea sickness after going out in a boat to swim with sharks
8-hours it took to fly to Hawaii
2-hours a man spent collapsed on the floor of our plane after passing out on the way home.
2-oxygen tanks the stewardess and doctor went through with him
25-minutes we were in turbulence so bad I literally thought we were dying
100-times Dan told me to calm down, get a hold of myself, and pray
5-hours behind in time that Hawaii is to Missouri
1256-pm, time it is right now that I am still awake
756pm-time my body thinks it is because it's still on Hawaii time
700-times I thought about not coming back and just finding a job out there
18-comments i received at work today about how tan I was
1-real coconut I sent back to the kids through the mail
0-people who could identify it was a coconut
20-people at work who need to get out more and know what a coconut is
930-latest time we went to bed while in Hawaii
2-times we ate at Maui Tacos..mmmm.
500-minutes spent analyzing boys, with a boys input
1-number from a friend who lives in hawaii that i had accidentally deleted from my phone book so couldn't get in touch with her :(
countless-times we were guided by the motto"follow the sun"
priceless-the many memories we have from that trip



*If anyone would like to see pics from the trip (which include, sharks, seals, surfing, beautiful scenery, etc) email me at smorefield@gmail.com and I'll send you a link to them.