Pain
I have discovered (or been discovering) that I do not handle pain well. I don't mean physical pain (although that is probably true too) but I mean emotional pain. I think I tend to disregard it, not really allow myself to feel it...why? cuz it's too painful!! I'm not sure if this is a coping mechanism or just an unhealthy way of thinking. Tonight I was watching this lady walk her dog, who was a cute basset hound puppy. It was pretty clear she was trying to teach it to walk on a leash and kept jerking it to get the dog to walk with her. It made me really sad, even though I really didn't think there was too much wrong with what she was doing. I had to turn away as I thought about how happy that puppy was to be walking along and then how possibly sad it was when it got jerked back. I think this will be a problem when i have children.
i have been fortunate to not had to experience a lot of deep, emotional pain in my life( i mean i guess, maybe i just have pushed it aside so much i can't remember it!!). However, in the social work field i work in, i encounter it everyday. I think it's a good thing to have this kind of mindset working in this field because you see the scum of society. You interact with people who do the unthinkable to their children and then some. However, even for a good little represser like me, sometimes the pain gets too much to bear. My heart literally aches sometimes for some of these kids or other people in my life who I know are experiencing pain. Sometimes I can do things to help, other times my only means of fighting for them are with prayer. I think I'm a helper because it keeps my mind off the intense pain those people are feeling. Sometimes I seriously think I will not be able to go on with this much pain and suffering in the world and cannot let myself dwell on it too long.
is there a cure for this? Should i be embracing the pain and working from there? It's not like I am not helping people or even myself, i just can't dwell on the circumstances that brought them or me to this point because the pain is too much to bear.
I am so thankful I have a Savior who bore the ultimate pain for me, who is my Comfort when I feel that all hope is lost. Who is my Hope. He is the one who is my All in All. He is the one i can cry out to when the pain is too great to bear and who will lift the burden from me. I cannot imagine going through this life without Him. I'm not sure I would make it.
i have been fortunate to not had to experience a lot of deep, emotional pain in my life( i mean i guess, maybe i just have pushed it aside so much i can't remember it!!). However, in the social work field i work in, i encounter it everyday. I think it's a good thing to have this kind of mindset working in this field because you see the scum of society. You interact with people who do the unthinkable to their children and then some. However, even for a good little represser like me, sometimes the pain gets too much to bear. My heart literally aches sometimes for some of these kids or other people in my life who I know are experiencing pain. Sometimes I can do things to help, other times my only means of fighting for them are with prayer. I think I'm a helper because it keeps my mind off the intense pain those people are feeling. Sometimes I seriously think I will not be able to go on with this much pain and suffering in the world and cannot let myself dwell on it too long.
is there a cure for this? Should i be embracing the pain and working from there? It's not like I am not helping people or even myself, i just can't dwell on the circumstances that brought them or me to this point because the pain is too much to bear.
I am so thankful I have a Savior who bore the ultimate pain for me, who is my Comfort when I feel that all hope is lost. Who is my Hope. He is the one who is my All in All. He is the one i can cry out to when the pain is too great to bear and who will lift the burden from me. I cannot imagine going through this life without Him. I'm not sure I would make it.
posted by Sam at 11:38 PM
1 Comments:
yeah, i've thought about that a lot too. like, is it NECESSARY for me to feel this much pain? Is it even healthy? (cuz i do the opposite of you and feel everything!) Ultimately for me, i think it's important that I've dealt with the crap so that I can move on. I don't know if there's a level at which it could also be healthy to just say, "Nope, this is not my pain and I'm not going to shoulder it." I wish I knew how all this worked...
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