Foster care Awareness Month
I thought it was appropriate after my last post, which was very disheartening, to write a story that portrayed a flip side of "the system". I think this will also fit in well because it is foster care awareness month.
I have a client who came into custody about 2 1/2 years ago due to his mom dating a meth addict. The guy was busted for manufacturing meth and the mom was taken to jail, although she ended up testing clean. All the usual things were put in place when a child is taken out of the home, individual counseling for kid and parent, family counseling, drug and alcohol screenings and treatment if necessary,and other stipulations depending on the family. This boy, who was 12 at the time, was in a foster home for about 8 months before the court decided to try a trial home visit. While at home, his grades dropped significantly, he missed a lot of school, was unsupervised frequently and left in the care of dangerous individuals. The boy was removed again and placed back in foster care. He was placed with a family where he has superceeded everyone's expectations. He went from D's and F's to being on the B honor roll. He no longer runs all over town and knows what his expectations are. The goal was still reunification with his mother but this was clearly not working and would be detrimental to this child's future. And his mother was a crazy one. I don't remember how many meetings she screamed that" God was going to "f"ing" judge us all". You feel bad because this kid does have a bond with his mom but is old enough to understand that she is just not geting it together. The family support team(team of people made up from providers in his life, counselors, school, Children's Division, parents, etc) made a decision to change the plan from reunification to guardianship. The foster family he had lived with for the last year offered to pursue guardianship. Guardianship means that all the rights of being a parent are given to these people but the biological parents rights are not actually terminated. It is up to the discretion of the guardians if they want to allow the child to see the parent, how much, where, etc. This family was more than willing to allow supervised visits and felt it was important for him to keep a relationship with his mom, since they already had a bond. The court hearing was about 5 hours long. I remember before the hearing sitting next to this boy and his mom. The boy was asking his mom why she was choosing all these negative people over him and that all she needed to do was to quit hanging around these peopel. THe mom responded with saying that "all these state people just need to stay out of our lives". The boy's first choice was to live with his mom but since he knew that couldnt' happen, he wanted to stay with his foster family. The judge granted the guardianship and he remains there today. He has made the B honor roll, stayed out of trouble, and recieved an award from school for "most improved student". I am so proud of him! and proud that the system worked for this kid.
It's so important that there are good foster homes out there. I have seen my share of great ones ansd awful ones. There is such a need for this! A need for Godly homes where kids can be given another chance at life. I know that the Children's Division here advertises at churches in the area. If anyone knows anyone who might consider being a foster parent or maybe your church is not actively involved in this, encourage them to seek more information. It's tough. The kids are challenging. It demands a lot of time between meetings, counseling appointments, visits, etc. But it's worth it.
http://www.dss.mo.gov/cd/fostercare/
Check out this website for more information.
I have a client who came into custody about 2 1/2 years ago due to his mom dating a meth addict. The guy was busted for manufacturing meth and the mom was taken to jail, although she ended up testing clean. All the usual things were put in place when a child is taken out of the home, individual counseling for kid and parent, family counseling, drug and alcohol screenings and treatment if necessary,and other stipulations depending on the family. This boy, who was 12 at the time, was in a foster home for about 8 months before the court decided to try a trial home visit. While at home, his grades dropped significantly, he missed a lot of school, was unsupervised frequently and left in the care of dangerous individuals. The boy was removed again and placed back in foster care. He was placed with a family where he has superceeded everyone's expectations. He went from D's and F's to being on the B honor roll. He no longer runs all over town and knows what his expectations are. The goal was still reunification with his mother but this was clearly not working and would be detrimental to this child's future. And his mother was a crazy one. I don't remember how many meetings she screamed that" God was going to "f"ing" judge us all". You feel bad because this kid does have a bond with his mom but is old enough to understand that she is just not geting it together. The family support team(team of people made up from providers in his life, counselors, school, Children's Division, parents, etc) made a decision to change the plan from reunification to guardianship. The foster family he had lived with for the last year offered to pursue guardianship. Guardianship means that all the rights of being a parent are given to these people but the biological parents rights are not actually terminated. It is up to the discretion of the guardians if they want to allow the child to see the parent, how much, where, etc. This family was more than willing to allow supervised visits and felt it was important for him to keep a relationship with his mom, since they already had a bond. The court hearing was about 5 hours long. I remember before the hearing sitting next to this boy and his mom. The boy was asking his mom why she was choosing all these negative people over him and that all she needed to do was to quit hanging around these peopel. THe mom responded with saying that "all these state people just need to stay out of our lives". The boy's first choice was to live with his mom but since he knew that couldnt' happen, he wanted to stay with his foster family. The judge granted the guardianship and he remains there today. He has made the B honor roll, stayed out of trouble, and recieved an award from school for "most improved student". I am so proud of him! and proud that the system worked for this kid.
It's so important that there are good foster homes out there. I have seen my share of great ones ansd awful ones. There is such a need for this! A need for Godly homes where kids can be given another chance at life. I know that the Children's Division here advertises at churches in the area. If anyone knows anyone who might consider being a foster parent or maybe your church is not actively involved in this, encourage them to seek more information. It's tough. The kids are challenging. It demands a lot of time between meetings, counseling appointments, visits, etc. But it's worth it.
http://www.dss.mo.gov/cd/fostercare/
Check out this website for more information.
posted by Sam at 9:38 AM
1 Comments:
hey love - re. your comment - you should google for images of "dapper hats" :) it can either be like a top hat or like a litle "newspaper boy" hat (think Newsies, literally). a bibliophile is someone who loves books.
i don't find people "like that" because i live in michigan and go to a very specific humanities-based program - it's awfully hard to meet people who aren't *just* into books and art around here (i have a thing for scientists, i think)... it's okay. i'm in no hurry. in fact, i'm going so slowly that i'm starting to re-get-to-know some old friends. it's weird.
i love you. :) the end.
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