Motivation Plateau

So...when is the working out and eating right supposed to be rewarding? When will I feel like I am really accomplishing something? When will I look forward to workouts and not dread them wtih a passion? When will I gain the self-control and self-discipline to venture out on my own? Certainly not yet. . . I can't even handle 3 days of no supervision. I choose not to work out and to eat somewhat crappy (although not as bad as I had thought, i really do feel my appetite changing, so that's good). When will I not fear the scale or the measuring tape? (ok probably never on that one). I just feel discouraged right now, feel like giving up and I'm only 2 months into what needs to be a lifelong change and at least a year or longer until I get to where I need to be. Will I give up before then? I don't want to, but i never wanted to all the other times before. I feel like I lack the drive to get me through another month. I feel fiery and that I may lash out at those around me who are trying to help. I feel stubborn and unmotivated. Maybe it's just a phase I've hit. Maybe it's just another obstacle to push through to get to the prize. I'm not sure I can do it. . .and come out liking myself and others. . .we shall see.